Full Disclosure: What My Travels are REALLY Like

I've had a few comments from friends lately about how they could never take their kids to all the places I have taken mine. They see the (carefully selected) photos on my Facebook page and think that our trips are filled with rainbows and happy children. They think back on their own trips with tired and/or crying children and feel like they have failed at traveling with kids.

While over the years I have developed some habits and systems that make traveling with kids easier, that doesn’t mean my trips are always smooth and easy. In reality, there isn’t a major airport in the US in which I haven’t been spit up on or pooped on.

So in the spirit of full disclosure, here are some of the “highlights” of our travels.

• On a 3 ½ hour flight from ATL to SLC my 11-month old screeched for literally over two hours straight. It was a happy screech, but it was a screech nonetheless. The other passengers were not kind. Not even a little.
• Once while traveling with a toddler and a baby, I put my back pack on the sink of the airport restroom. The top of the backpack was open because I had just gotten some items out of it. While I attended to the baby in the stroller, my open backpack fell into the sink, activated the automatic faucet and began filling the backpack with water. I didn’t notice until it was WAY too late.
• On another long haul domestic flight, my 4 year old threw up. All over. I mean ALL OVER. They had to clean up all three seats we were sitting in. Luckily it was an empty flight and there was an entire row open. So we packed up and moved all our stuff to a new row. Where she threw up again.
• I usually pack my own snacks when we travel. One rare occasion I actually bought a milkshake at the airport and then handed it to a child who immediately spilled it on my carry-on. Somehow, it managed to land upside down in exactly the right way to ooze straight down in in the depression and holes created by the retractable handle on the luggage. How’s that possible?
• I spent the night in the JFK airport with 3 children (and a husband) when nearly every flight was canceled and all the hotels were booked up. Notice I didn’t say that I slept in the airport. Not a lot of sleep happened that night. 
• My children have spilled all kinds of drinks on other passengers. I used to love flying on SkyWest Airlines because they had lids for their cups. I finally got wise and just started asking the flight attendant to put the drinks straight into our sippy cups. Also ask for drinks without ice.
• On a road trip, we were about 30 minutes from home when we noticed that one of our children had absolutely nothing on his feet. Mother of the year right here.
• While on a plane with an infant on my lap, we were actually served a meal. Try balancing food on one of those tray tables while holding an infant. Apparently, balancing was the least of my worries because my 1 year old picked up my salad and threw it into the row in front of us.
• At Disneyland, we only brought one pacifier for our baby. He spit it out on the Dumbo ride right into the water below. Not so much the happiest place on earth after that.
• One trip we had two long flights ahead of us, so I packed a lunch for us. For almost three hours on the first flight, my kids begged for their lunch. I promised them we would eat during our layover. The minute we landed, they wanted to eat.  I wanted to get to our next gate and get settled, so I told them to wait until we got to our gate at the other end of the airport.  As soon as we sat down at the gate, the ravenous wolves were reaching for the lunch bag. That’s when we realized it was still on the airport train. We went back and checked the next four trains for our lunch but it was gone.
• Speaking of leaving things, you name it and  I have left it on a plane, in a hotel, or at home. We’re talking socks, toothbrushes, receiving blankets, clothes, stuffed animals, cameras, cell phones, lunches and even an entire suitcase once.  Luckily, we haven’t left behind any children…yet. 

So are my trips all sunshine and daisies? No, but then neither is everyday life. And just like the sweet moments make the daily grind of child rearing worth it, the great memories of our trips block out the temper tantrums of tired kids, the nasty looks from other passengers, and the back aches from lugging around three kids' stuff. Well…almost.